Experiencing Jesus Opens the Bible: Part 5 – Knowing His Resurrection

(This post is Part 5, and the last, of the series Experiencing Jesus Opens the Bible. The other posts in the series are Introduction,  Part 1 – Drawn by the Holy SpiritPart 2 – The Word of the Lord Appeared, and Part 3 – A Low Whisper, and Part 4 – Seeing Jesus.)

We come to the Bible with presuppositions about God. Typically, as we study the Bible, those presuppositions about God – no matter if they are right or wrong – are confirmed. However, when we truly experience the life of Jesus Christ, our presuppositions about God are challenged, overturned, changed. Then, when we go the Bible, we see this new perspective of God confirmed.

In Parts 1 through 4, I shared about some of the suffering I went through – loneliness, my wife’s battle with cancer, and my wife’s death. But, this post is about the fruit, the new life, that was produced from all of that suffering. This is about how I met Samatha, my wife of the last five plus years. If you haven’t read Part 1, then you will want to because the two stories have some interesting similarities.

A few weeks after Dawn passed away I went to Asia for three weeks. The first week was a mission trip to the Philippines that Dawn and Trey, our son, were supposed to go on with me (Trey still ended up going with me). Then, the last two weeks were for work in other parts of Asia.

I had two opportunities to speak on the mission trip. The first was at a conference of more than 1,000 youth and the second was at the church that hosts the youth conference we attended. I had prepared messages for these opportunities. But, on the flight over, the Holy Spirit told me to put away those messages and speak about everything that Dawn and I had been through. The last week of Dawn’s life, Part 4, of this series, was what I spent the most time talking about.

Imagine being in front of more than 1,000 people and sharing all the suffering your wife and you went through together just weeks after she died. It was tough but a real blessing.

Towards the end of part 4, I mentioned that we needed to focus on what God will do – his love for us – and not on all the many things that God could do for us. Focusing on what God will do – his love for us – instead of the things God could do but hasn’t keeps us from becoming bitter and angry. If we don’t become bitter and angry about what God hasn’t done for us, then we open ourselves to untold blessings form God. Even though it was just weeks since my wife had died, this was the thrust of my talk.

For me, the root of this belief was Romans 8.28, which says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” More than a decade earlier, this was the first scripture that ever became more than words on a page to me, the first scripture I understood by the Spirit. Not coincidentally, it was during a very dark time in my marriage to Dawn. But, it was a scripture that we (and many other Christians have as well) clung to over the years. In fact, the scripture is quoted on Dawn’s tombstone.

At the end of this three week trip to Asia, I was in Taiwan with two co-workers and our sales representative. It was late in the day before we were going to fly home. We were driving from Taichung to Taipei, which was a several hour drive. I was exhausted and ready to go home.

I was riding in the back of the van with no on paying attention to me. I began to think about Dawn. I started crying. My parents had stayed with Trey and me from the week before Dawn died to the time I was coming home from this trip. But, I knew they were leaving when I got home. It was going to be just Trey and me in the house. The realization that Dawn was dead and I was going to be without another adult in the house was finally sinking in.

Dale, the pastor of church, went to Ghana for two weeks to preach at a funeral just as I was arriving home from Taiwan. We were very close and I had just become an elder at the church at the beginning of the year. Dale told me that even though he wouldn’t have electricity where he was going in Ghana he wanted me to write him while he was gone. Then, we he got to back to the airport in Ghana he could read my emails.

I wrote Dale twice while he was gone. Both times I told him that things were more difficult than I thought they would be. I told him how much I missed Dawn, how I needed to focus on being a parent, and how I didn’t have time to be an elder at the church right now. I cried throughout the writing of both of those emails.

When Dale got to the airport in Ghana he read those emails. He wrote me back and said he had been praying for me and wanted to come see me when he got home. Seemingly, Dale came to my house immediately after he landed in Cincinnati. It was less than two months since Dawn had died.

Dale and I went to the basement of my house to talk. For 10 minutes or so, Dale just kept telling me what a great marriage Dawn and I had, how we touched so many people, how I had handled everything so well, and on and on. I was thinking this can’t be what he came to talk to me about.

So, I told Dale that we were friends. He was the only person in the room with me when Dawn died. That’s how close we were. Whatever he had to say wasn’t going to offend me.

I’m paraphrasing, but Dale said, “You know how I tell people to not go around saying, ‘God told me to tell you…’ right? You know how I warn people against that, right? Well…I was praying for you. And, I felt like the Holy Spirit told me to tell you that it was time to start dreaming about your next wife.”

On the one hand that was not what I was expecting to hear. It was less than two months since Dawn died.

But, on the other hand, unbeknownst to Dale, I had already started doing that. Dawn, had battled cancer for six years. And, since the beginning of the year she would pass away, I knew the end of her life was close. So, I had mentally prepared myself for this possibility. While Dale was in Africa, I actually started to fill out a profile on eHarmony. But, I stopped about half way through. I thought to myself, “What if someone I know sees me on here less than two months after my wife died? They will think I’m a huge jerk.” So, as soon as I heard these words from Dale, I knew I needed to do this. But, I didn’t say anything to Dale. I just kept listening to what he had to say.

Dale continued, “You need to make a list of whatever you want in your next wife. I don’t care what it is. Just make a list and write it down. Then I think you should get on eHarmony. Meeting someone from church, your son’s school, or your office is not a good idea. God works so fast for you. Everything in your life happens just like that.” When Dale said that, he snapped his fingers.

So, the next day, I got up and made a list of everything I wanted in my next wife. The list had 31 things on it. There were serious things, such as she had to be a strong Christian woman and love my son like her own son. There were five such things that I starred because I could not compromise on them. But, then there were some not so serious things. For example, I wrote down the type of diet or food that my next wife should eat. At the time, I was eating a paleo/primal diet. So, I wanted my next wife to eat that way too. At the time, the diet was no where near as popular as it is now. I actually laughed when I wrote that down because I assumed that would never happen.

After I made my list, I got on eHarmony again. Filling out the profile seemed like it took hours. I felt like I was being psychoanalyzed. But, that same night I got my first set of matches. At the time, eHarmony gave you matches in groups of six, probably so you would actually take the time to look through them and not just go by looks. But, the woman in the very first match was beautiful. I thought to myself that I have no shot at her, but I will read her profile anyway.

Her profile was fascinating. She had a list of her favorite books. One particular book caught my attention. Even though I had not read that book, I had just read some others on the same subject.

Now, eHarmony has a system of “guided communication.” When you find a match you are interested in, you can send them a pre-written message. Then, they can send you a pre-written message back. Then, you can send them some pre-written questions. And, they can send you some pre-written answers. I thought this was a complete waste of time. So, I just emailed this woman.

Her name was unusual – Samatha with no “n.” So, I made sure I spelled it right. The email was pretty short. I simply asked her about why this book was one of her favorites because I was intrigued by that. And, I recommended another book on the same subject that I thought she might find interesting.

I sent that email on Saturday night, just one day after Dale told me to start dreaming about my next wife and the same day I made my list. Sunday afternoon I was sitting in a chair in the room that Dawn had died in, thinking about my life. I hadn’t heard anything back from Samatha yet. I said to myself, “This is such a waste of time. I’m never going to meet anyone this way. Why am I bothering with this?” It hadn’t even been 24 hours since I sent the email to the first interesting match I had and I was ready to throw in the towel on the whole process.

When I went in to work on Monday, I had an email from Samatha. The very first thing in the email was a thank you for spelling her name correctly, which is often overlooked. Score! Then, Samatha gave an in-depth reply about why she liked the book so much. She discussed several quotes from the book, too. I thought, “How did she pull quotes from the book like that so fast?”

By the time I finished reading the email, I knew I was going to marry her (just like the first time I met Dawn).

We continued to email each other for the next few days. The emails got very personal very fast. By the fourth day, we decided to shut down our eHarmony accounts and focus on this relationship. Also, we traded phone numbers so we could call each other.

So, just a few days after we met on eHarmony, I called Samatha. We talked on the phone for hours. In fact, we were on the phone until almost 3 a.m., which was really late for me to be up. I told Samatha that I had to go to bed because I needed to get up for work the next day. So, the phone call just sort of ended, awkwardly.

I called Samatha again the next day. Right away I asked her if she thought last night’s phone call had ended awkwardly too. She said yes. I told her that was because I wanted to tell her “I love you,” but I was afraid that would scare her away. She said she felt the same way but was not ready to say it.

So, we kept calling each other for the next six weeks or so. During that time we made plans to finally meet each other in person. Samatha lived about a four drive from me, but she was visiting some friends who were about half way between us. So, she would come down to visit me for a couple of days after she saw her friends.

I can remember the moment I saw her when I picked her up from the hotel. Beautiful! Just like the picture. We went to get sushi. Then, we went to see a play (I had season tickets to the theater).

During those couple of days we met in person for the first time, we actually went shopping for engagement rings. I mentioned in Part 1 that I had no clues about the rules of dating when I met Dawn. Not much had changed in 15 years.

The first person I told about this new relationship was my cousin Melissa. We work together in our family business. At the time, our offices were right next to each other. It was about three months after Dawn died. When I told her about Samatha and that we were likely to get married, Melissa said that she was not surprised. In fact, she had told the rest of my family the week before Dawn died that I would either get married in six months or I would never get married again.

Eventually, Samatha and I got married. It was six months and 12 days since Dawn had died.

Remember, when Dale said God did things for me quickly, in the snap of a finger?

Yeah, pretty much. Samatha was the very first person I was matched with on eHarmony. We shut off our accounts four days later. We went shopping for wedding rings six weeks after we met online. We were married six months after Dawn died.

But, about that list of 31 things?

Over the first few months that I knew Sam, I would go back to the list and check off the things she had that matched what I wrote down. Right away I could tell she had a lot of them. During some emails back and forth, it came out that she even ate the type of food I wrote down. Eventually, I crossed off everything on my list.

Do you know the odds of that?


God is amazing!

So, how did this experience with the life of Jesus – his working in my life – open the Bible for me?

What presuppositions needed to change so I could see God clearly in the Bible?



Suffering and death are everywhere. I, along with many other Christians, viewed God as the cause of them. But, it wasn’t until 2017 that I truly understood that God doesn’t cause suffering and death. Instead, Jesus suffered and died himself. Most of all, he suffered and died at the hands of his own creation.

“Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things…?” (Luke 24.26)

“Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer…” (Luke 24.46)

But, that was not the full picture. Jesus did not suffer and die and the story ended.

Luke 24.46 says that the “Christ should suffer these things and enter his glory.”

Luke 24.46 says “that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance and the forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations.”

I began to understand that God does not cause suffering and death. Rather, God enters into suffering and death only to enter his glory, to rise from the dead, to be resurrected, to change minds, and to forgive sins.

I had been through a lot of suffering and death. But, Jesus entered that suffering and death. But, Jesus brought new life out of it because of his love. By focusing upon Jesus’ love and not becoming bitter and angry, I was able to receive the resurrection, the new life, that Jesus wanted to bless me with.

Truly, when Samatha and I met and got married, it felt like a completely new life to me. I really have no way to explain what that feels like. One life was over – not just Dawn’s, but mine. And, a new life had begun.

I know have a better understanding of Philippians 3.10-11, which says, “That I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I mat attain the resurrection from the dead.”

Now, I see this everywhere in the Bible. God did not cause suffering and death. Rather, the stories, the accounts, are witnesses to Jesus’ own suffering and death from which he was resurrected so that he could change our minds about God and our sins could be forgiven. Acts 18.5 says that “Paul was occupied with the word.” Jesus’ suffering, death, and resurrection was the word Paul was occupied with.

And, it is this same word that I have become occupied with. Once you have seen it, you cannot unsee it. And, once you have seen it, it becomes the thing that you see in scripture.

“Then he said to them, ‘These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you, that everything written about me in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled.’ Then he opened their minds to understand the Scriptures, and said to them, ‘Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance and the forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning in Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things.” (Luke 24.44-48)

The scriptures has been opened to me. They have been revealed in my experiences with the life of Jesus. I am a witness to these things.

Experiencing Jesus Opens the Bible: Part 4 – Seeing Jesus

(This post is Part 4 of the series Experiencing Jesus Opens the Bible. The other posts in the series are Introduction,  Part 1 – Drawn by the Holy SpiritPart 2 – The Word of the Lord Appeared, and Part 3 – A Low Whisper.)

We come to the Bible with presuppositions about God. Typically, as we study the Bible, those presuppositions about God – no matter if they are right or wrong – are confirmed. However, when we truly experience the life of Jesus Christ, our presuppositions about God are challenged, overturned, changed. Then, when we go the Bible, we see this new perspective of God confirmed.

In Part 1, I shared how Dawn, my first wife, miraculously came into my life. I challenged God to prove his existence by causing me to meet my wife for my birthday. He answered the challenge. I experienced the life of Jesus for the first time and the Bible was, quite literally, opened to me.

Today, I am going to share how Dawn departed from my life in an even more miraculous fashion. The days leading up to her death were filled with many miracles (at least I consider the events as such). I experienced the life of Jesus like never before. And, from that moment on, I have seen Jesus in the Bible in ways that I would not have fathomed prior to this experience.

Dawn died March 17, 2012.

For six years she had battled cancer. She was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer in 2006.

During her battle, Dawn had a double mastectomy and brain surgery to remove a golf ball sized brain tumor. By the way, she was out of bed less than 24 hours after the brain surgery, and we went home straight from the ICU less than 36 hours after the brain surgery. The nurses said they had never seen anything like it. If Dawn was anything, she was tough and able to endure suffering.

Dawn had years of weekly chemotherapy treatments. It became a part of our life so much that I would lose track of her appointments. One weekend, we took our son to the local bike trail to ride. We rode about 10 miles. At one point I asked Dawn why her and Trey were lagging behind. She reminded me that she had chemotherapy the day before.

Dawn also had lots of radiation. The first round was on her lung for the quarter-sized spot of cancer that never seemed to get any smaller. The second round was on her brain after the tumor was removed. Cancer patients will often joke about “chemo brain” – how chemotherapy causes you to forget things. Imagine what happens after years of chemotherapy and radiation on your brain. Dawn was a very intelligent woman, but despite what the chemotherapy and radiation did to her mind, she never stopped smiling. She never stopped thanking and praising God.

In January 2012, I noticed that Dawn was leaning to the left a lot. It reminded me of the first time she had a brain tumor because she lost the peripheral vision in her left eye. As a result, she would push the food off the left side of her plate without even knowing it. I asked Dawn if she should get a brain scan. But, she was pretty adamant that she didn’t need one.

It didn’t take me long to realize why Dawn didn’t want a brain scan. She knew she had another brain tumor. And, she knew that there wasn’t really anything the doctors could do. Dawn knew her time was drawing to a close. I knew it too.

Eventually, Dawn’s symptoms got to the point where she had to go to the doctor. They did a brain scan, and, as we expected, she had a brain tumor. The radiologist said he would not recommend radiation. Because it would be the second time Dawn had radiation on her brain, the radiologist said her quality of life would drop significantly if she had brain radiation again. It might even result in her living in a vegetative state. But, the radiologist said he would do the radiation if we demanded he do it.

Just a short while later, we met with Dawn’s oncologist. We knew what the conversation was going to be. The doctor said that it was perhaps time to stop all treatments. Prior to the meeting, Dawn and I had already decided this was the route to go.

That meeting with the oncologist was just nine days before Dawn died. On the way home from the meeting, I knew I would have to tell Trey, our son, that night what was happening. The hardest thing I have ever done in my life was telling my 11-year-old son that his mom was going to die.

What do you say?

I sat Trey down on his bed. I told him what was happening. I could hardly get the words out. I cried a lot. Trey told me he had learned a scripture at school that week that he thought was appropriate. He quoted to me 2 Peter 3.9, which says, “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”

It may not seem like much, but for me that was a miracle. My son was consoling me, reminding me that God fulfills his promises.

Six days before Dawn died we went to church together for the last time. Dawn’s sister, Lisa, and her family came up from Nashville to Cincinnati to go with us. And, so did a few of Dawn’s best friends of more than 25 years. None of them came because we knew Dawn was going to die in the next week. In fact, they had planned on coming weeks, if not months, prior.

Dawn, her sister Lisa, and two friends from church (Alisa and her daughter DeLisa) sang my favorite song that Sunday – Thank You by Walter Hawkins. Thankfully, John, the associate pastor of the church, managed to capture the moment on his cell phone. Click here to see the video. 

Dawn is the one seated on the stool. She is smiling throughout the video , but she smiled like that all the time. And, I mean all the time. And, to think she could smile and praise God like that after six years of suffering and just six days before she died.

The lyrics of the song were very appropriate.

Tragedies are common place
All kinds of diseases, people are slipping away
Economies down, people can’t get enough pay
But as for me, all I can say is
Thank you Lord for all You’ve done for me, yeah

Folks without homes, living out in the streets
And the drug habits some say, they just can’t beat
Muggers and robbers, no place seems to be safe
But You’ll be my protection every step of the way
And I want to say
Thank you Lord for all You’ve done for me, yeah

It could have been me (thank you)
Outdoors (thank you)
No food (thank you)
No clothes (thank you)
Or left alone (thank you)
Without a friend (thank you)
Or just another number (thank you)
With a tragic end (thank you)
But you didn’t see fit to let none of these things be (thank you)
‘Cause everyday

In addition to battling cancer, Dawn grew up in the projects and on welfare. She had experienced or seen everything in the lyrics of this song.

At the end of the video, Dawn says thank you to the church for everything they had done for our family. It was like she was saying goodbye to everyone. It is so surreal for me to watch it.

For me, it was a miracle to spend that last Sunday together at church in that way with Dawn.

Four days before Dawn died, she was in bed taking a nap. I went to check on her, and it was obvious something was wrong. She was talking incoherently. She was asking me to put her in the middle of the bed even though she already was. Dawn was asking me to put her left arm next to her even though it already was.

Because I couldn’t calm Dawn down, I called 911. They said there really wasn’t anything they could do, but they could come and take her to the hospital. Even though Dawn told me she didn’t want to go to the hospital anymore (we had just spent 12 of the last 30 days in the hospital), I felt like I had no other choice.

So, the ambulance came to take Dawn to the hospital. Dale, the pastor of our church, met me in the emergency room. As soon as he saw Dawn, he asked me to step outside the room to talk with him for a minute. Dale told me that he had seen this many times before – Dawn was transitioning out of this life. He told me that there was no way to know how long it would be, but I needed to prepare myself that this was it. Also, Dale told me that Dawn was a godly woman and because of that I was going to see things other people don’t get to see. Boy, was he right.

We went back in the room. A little bit later, John, the associate pastor, met us in the room. As we stood there talking, Dawn started smiling like never before. She always had a big smile, but this was different. It looked like the corners of her mouth were back to her ears, almost like someone had put hooks in the corners of her mouth to pull them back. And, Dawn’s eyes were wide open. Her face was radiant.

With that smile and eyes wide open, Dawn turned to the three of us and said, “I see heaven. I see God. And, he is right here with me.”

Dale, John, and I just looked at each other. Another miracle.

The hospital couldn’t really do anything for Dawn, so they sent us home the next day. I had called Dawn’s family and friends and told them to come back up to Cincinnati because this was it.

That night, three days before Dawn died, Shaterial, Dawn’s best friend, said she would stay up that night with Dawn to watch her since I had been up all night the night before at the hospital.

When I came down the next morning, Shaterial said I wouldn’t believe what happened last night. She told me that Dawn saw and talked with her mom, who had died three years prior. Shaterial said that Dawn asked her who all the people were in the room. But, only Shaterial and Dawn were up in the middle of the night. Shaterial told Dawn that there was no one else in room, but Dawn insisted there was.

You might say that Dawn was hallucinating, but Shaterial and I were convinced that Dawn saw her mom and that angels were in the room with them. Shaterial told me what a blessing it was for her to experience that with Dawn. Another miracle.

The next night, two days before Dawn died, I stayed up all night with her. When we came home from the hospital, we had a hospital bed put in the study off the living room. Dawn was sleeping there while I laid on the couch to keep an eye on her.

It was late at night when I noticed Dawn put her leg out of the bed. I went and put her leg back in the bed. This happened several times until I realized Dawn needed to use the bathroom. So, I helped her out of the bed. The bathroom was only about 15 feet away. But, halfway there Dawn said she was too tired to go any further. We were right next to the couch I was sleeping on, and she asked if she could just lay down there.

With Dawn on the couch where I was sleeping, I just knelt on the floor next to her. I held Dawn’s hand and silently prayed for her. Dawn fell back asleep. Then, out of nowhere, Dawn asked me a question.

“Do you want to see Jesus with me?”

Without missing a beat, I said yes.

And, for what seemed like 30 minutes or so, I saw Jesus.

Now, I did not see his physical form, the shape of a man. But, I saw his presence. There was this glow in the room right next to Dawn. There was no doubt that Jesus was in the room with us.

I saw Jesus.

Dawn did everything for Trey as a mother. And, I traveled a lot. I had been dealing with lots of fear about being a single parent. I had no idea how I could do that.

And, then Jesus spoke to me.

The first thing Jesus said was, “Perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4.18) Instantly, all my fear of being a single parent was gone. I never thought about the difficulties of being a single parent again.

Then, Jesus told me about how he “is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think.” (Ephesians 3.20) He said that I think about that scripture in earthly, physical terms.

I could imagine Dawn being perfectly, physically healed. What’s more than that?

I could imagine being the richest person in the world. What’s more than that?

All of us can imagine quite a few grandiose things. What’s more than all the things we can imagine?

But, Jesus told me that scripture isn’t about any earthly or material thing. He said the one thing that I could not imagine more of was his love. No matter how great and how awesome I imagined his love to be, Jesus’ love for me would always be far more, exceedingly, abundantly more than all I could ever ask or think.

Finally, Jesus told me that I had been praying for a miracle in Dawn’s healing. But, Jesus said the real miracle I was, or should be, praying for was his love. His love was what mattered more than anything else. Another miracle.

“Do you want to see Jesus with me?” were the last words Dawn ever spoke to me. But, they weren’t the last words she ever spoke. She saved those for our son, Trey. One day before she died, Trey came to give his mom a kiss good night. Dawn hadn’t spoke in almost 24 hours. But, after Trey kissed her good night, she said “I love you” to her son. Those were the last words Dawn ever spoke.  Another miracle.

Trey was an excellent piano player. Dawn believed he had talent and really pushed him. He played in a piano competition the morning of the day his mom died. That evening my dad gathered everyone, all of Dawn’s family and friends, around the piano to hear Trey play. He played a piece from the competition and a song he was learning for the mission trip we would go on in about a month.

The piano was in the room next to Dawn. Dale and I were in the room with Dawn, listening to Trey play. Just a few minutes after Trey finished playing those two songs, Dawn died. The last thing Dawn ever heard was her son playing the piano. Another miracle.

The last week of Dawn’s life was filled with so many experiences with the life of Jesus, so many things that I can’t explain, so many things that Jesus seemingly orchestrated so that I would know his love for me. And, at the center of them all was seeing Jesus.

How did this experience with the life of Jesus open the Bible for me?

What presuppositions had I been bringing to the Bible that were changed by this experience?

Prior to this experience I believed God to be 100 percent completely sovereign over everything that happened. I read the events ascribed to God in the Old Testament and took what the Bible said at face value. God must have done all those horrible and wicked things. So, I believed that God would allow sickness, even cancer, despite the damage it did to our family and the difficulties my son would face because of his mom’s untimely death.

Basically, my view of God was undifferentiated. God might do good some times, but he allowed evil at other times. God might love some times, but he hated with a vengeance at other times. God might give life to some, but he would bring death to others.

This was how everyone around me read the Bible. And, I went right along with it. I didn’t know any other way.

Until I saw Jesus.

Until Jesus spoke to me about his love. Nothing else.

This experience with Jesus more than anything else has changed the way I read the Bible.

I had been in the presence of Jesus’ exceedingly abundant love.

There is no way that love would give someone cancer.

There is no way that love would take a mom from her son.

There is no way that love would leave a man a widower before he was 40.

Sure those things happened, but God was not the cause of them.

As I continued to read the Bible, read theology books, and listen to sermons, everything began to shift in my mind. Everything was now being filtered through the lens of Jesus and his love. Now, everything I read and heard was filtered through the following statements.

  • God is light and in him there is no darkness at all.
  • God is love and in him there is no fear at all.
  • God is life and in him there is no death at all.

Further, I began to realize that I needed to focus not on what God can do but on what God will do.

I want God to do all sorts of things for me. And, he can do them. The possibilities of what God can do for me are limitless. But, when I focus on what God can do, then I lose sight of God and being transformed and conformed to his image. I found that focusing on what God can do and, consequently, what he has not done for me would make me bitter and angry. For example, why did God heal someone else and not my wife?

Instead, I just needed to focus on what God will do. In other words, I need only focus on who God is in my life – light, love, and life. Jesus said it as he is the way and the truth and the life. He also said it as he is the resurrection and the life.

Seeing Jesus has completely transformed the way I read the Bible.

Experiencing Jesus Opens the Bible: Part 3 – A Low Whisper

(This post is Part 3 of the series Experiencing Jesus Opens the Bible. The other posts in the series are Introduction,  Part 1 – Drawn by the Holy SpiritPart 2 – The Word of the Lord Appeared, and Part 4 – Seeing Jesus.)

We come to the Bible with presuppositions about God. Typically, as we study the Bible, those presuppositions about God – no matter if they are right or wrong – are confirmed. However, when we truly experience the life of Jesus Christ, our presuppositions about God are challenged, overturned, changed. Then, when we go the Bible, we see this new perspective of God confirmed.

Perhaps you have heard of the B.I.B.L.E. acronym.

Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth

Earlier in my Christian life, that was my view of the Bible. The Bible was basically a rule book for me to follow.

Do this.

Don’t do that.

Do these things and you are saved.

Do those things and you are a sinner, not saved.

Memorize what to do and work really hard to do it.

This is how you will leave the earth and get to heaven.

This is what I learned about God from those around me. This was how I heard other Christians talk about the Bible. So, this became my understanding too.

While the B.I.B.L.E. acronym above and summarizes how many Christians have learned to interact with the Bible, it isn’t very helpful. Particularly for someone like me who is a bit of an intellectual that wants to learn a thing inside out and struggles with perfectionism.

Actually, this understanding of the Bible was a disaster. It always left me feeling condemned and worthless for not living up to the dos and don’ts in the Bible. This even showed up in my desire to read the Bible.

I tried to read the Bible all the way through many times so I could learn its basic instructions. But, I failed every time. Something would happen, some distraction or unexpected event, and I would miss a day, or two or three, of reading, and my perfect plan to learn the Bible’s instructions would be thrown off.

So, I’d quit.

And, then I would get down on myself for not even being able to stick to a reading plan.

If I can’t even stick to this reading plan, then how am I ever going to be a “good” Christian?

Finally, in 2009 or 2010, I firmly made up my mind that nothing was going to stop me from reading the Bible all the way through. I created a spreadsheet with what I needed to read each day. I would be able to cross off what I read each day. If I missed a day, then I would double up the following day. I was going to do this. I was determined not to miss a day.

When I started this project, it flowed right out of the do this, don’t do that mindset. It was about the religious obligation to read the Bible. It was what good Christians were supposed to do – read your Bible every day.

But, I hadn’t fully considered why I was supposed to read the Bible every day.

Until I got a few months into this project and hit the book of Psalms.

Three or four years before I started this project, my wife, Dawn, was diagnosed with breast cancer.

For the first year, we tried to treat it with dietary changes. So, we became raw vegans. The cancer stopped growing, but the tumor wasn’t shrinking.

Dawn wasn’t happy with the slow progress, so she switched to more a more traditional treatment plan. She had a double mastectomy. She started chemotherapy. She had radiation. Then, the doctors found a spot of cancer on her lung.

For several years, it seemed like Dawn had a weekly appointment for a chemotherapy or a radiation treatment. She went in for these treatments so often I could no longer keep track of them. It was just a part of our life.

But, none of these treatments phased Dawn. She never stopped smiling. She never lacked energy. She never seem tired. She radiated joy and the love of Christ everywhere she went.

After several years of continuous treatments, Dawn was diagnosed with a brain tumor. This was quite the blow. No matter what treatment she underwent, nothing seemed to stop the cancer from spreading. So, we decided to get a second opinion at a nationally known cancer treatment center.

Of course, we, along with our church, had been praying for a miraculous healing for Dawn. But, we really stepped it up after the brain tumor was diagnosed. Dawn and I were sincerely praying and believing that we were going to get a scan of Dawn’s brain for the second opinion at this nationally known cancer center and they would not be able to find the brain tumor. We were filled with hope as we drove from Cincinnati to Chicago.

I can still picture the little room we waited in to talk with the doctor after the brain scan. He came in to give us the results. And, in what seemed like a split second, he confirmed that Dawn had a golf ball-sized tumor in the back of her brain. The doctor said he would step out so that we could have a moment to talk.

When the doctor stepped out, Dawn started crying. I mean really crying.

I don’t remember the doctor coming back in. I don’t remember us leaving the treatment center.

But, I do remember the car ride back to our hotel. It was 25 minutes. It was dark. It was drizzling. And, Dawn sobbed, I mean sobbed, the entire drive back.

What could I say to my wife who just had her hopes of a miraculously healed brain tumor crushed?

What could I say to my wife who was staring death in the face, knowing that she would not see her son graduate from high school or college, get married, have children, etc.?

I drove in total silence, listening to my wife sob for 25 minutes without stopping.

We finally arrived at the hotel and went up to our room. Dawn curled up on the bed in the fetal position and continued sobbing. Really sobbing.

I sat down in the chair. I had no idea what to do or what to say. I can’t recall another time in my life where I felt so helpless and clueless about what to do next.

Now, remember, I had started this Bible reading project several months ago. And, I had continued it on this trip.

As I sat in the chair, I heard this small voice, a low whisper, say to me, “What did you read this morning?”

This inaudible voice sort of stunned me. It took me a second, but I got my reading sheet out and went back through it.

And, I hit Psalm 13.

“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

“Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, ‘I have prevailed over him,’ lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

“But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.”

My mind was blown.

Those opening questions were exactly what Dawn and I were feeling right at that moment.

I read this psalm the morning that our hopes for a miraculous healing were dashed.

Was God even listening to our prayers?

Had God forgotten us?

I had put this reading plan in place months ago. A reading plan that I had failed to stick to several times before. But, on this day, I read psalm 13. On the exact day that my wife and I were wondering if God was listening, if he had forgotten us, I read this psalm.

“What did you read this morning?”

The exact word that Jesus wanted to speak to my wife and me in that situation.

I told Dawn I had something that I wanted to read to her. So, I read psalm 13 out loud to her.

As I read, Dawn stopped crying.

It may have seemed like God had forgotten her, had hidden his face from her. But, Dawn trusted in his steadfast love, and she would rejoice in her salvation.

Those words spoke life to Dawn. They were the exact words what she needed to her in that moment. Words that I just happened to read that morning because I put a reading plan in place several months prior.

After I finished reading Psalm 13, Dawn asked me to read Psalm 23 to her. Then, she asked me to read Psalm 91 to her.

The atmosphere in the room had completely changed.

The circumstances were the same. Dawn still had a brain tumor. But, our hearts had been changed. We had experienced the life of Jesus.

Life had kicked death out of that room, out of our hearts.

Dawn never cried about cancer again.

I had begun my reading project out of a religious duty or obligation. I wanted to know the rules I was to follow. If I could just read the Bible all the way through, then I would have the basic instructions I needed to be a Christian.

But, that night I heard a still, small voice. I heard a low whisper.

“And he said, ‘Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.’ And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it…” (1 Kings 19.11-13)

I heard that same “sound of a low whisper.” An alternative translation of that is “a sound, a thin silence.” Not a loud, booming voice. Not a series of cataclysmic events – great winds, earthquakes, fires. “A thin silence” in my heart and mind that subtly prompted me to look into something.

And, that sound, that low whisper, that thin silence, reminded me of what I had read that morning. Psalm 13 didn’t have any rules or instructions in it. There wasn’t anything for us to do or obey. But, it did have a feeling. That night there was a revealing of God’s empathy toward us and solidarity with us in the struggle and the suffering. There was an assurance of his love.

That still, small voice spoke the precise words we needed to hear at the precise moment we needed to hear them.

What if I had started my reading plan a day earlier or a day later?

Was is it actually my decision to start the reading plan? To finally commit to it?

Was God behind it all, keeping me diligent along the way?

How was it that we experienced the life of Jesus, restoring our hope and trust in him, in Psalm 13 that night?

I can’t answer these questions.

But, I do know that God has a mysterious way of working things together for good.

I have continued that reading plan ever since, for seven or eight years. Sometimes I go through the Bible twice in a year. Once I went through the Bible four times in one year. But, no matter the pace, I have kept reading through the Bible day after day.

But, it is no longer a religious duty or obligation. I am no longer seeking rules to perfectly follow. Now, I let the Bible point me to the mysterious of Jesus – his suffering, cross, death, and resurrection – on a daily basis.

I cannot count the number of times that I have read a passage of scripture in the morning that Jesus would bring to life later in the day. Sometimes it is something I need to hear. Sometimes it is something I share with someone else that they need to hear. I can’t recall it ever being about rules and dos and don’ts though.

This is has happened so often now I just joyously laugh.

I had a presupposition that God wanted me to read the Bible for rules and instructions to follow. If I just knew the right rules, then I could follow them.

But, “the letter kills.” It is “the ministry of death.”

God isn’t rules and instructions as I thought prior to this experience with the life of Jesus.

However, when I experienced the life of Jesus as a low whisper, the Bible opened up to me.

“The Spirit gives life.”

Life isn’t rules and instructions to be rigidly applied in every situation.

I needed the veil of rules and instructions to be removed from the Bible.

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.” (2 Corinthians 3.18)

Life is beholding the glory of the Lord. Meditating on it. Gazing at it. Pondering it. Basking in the essence of it.

That still, small voice of Jesus showed me to look for the glory of God, his essence, his life, in the scripture.

Don’t try to capture the glory of God in a rule or an instruction to follow.

Instead, let the Bible lead me to Jesus so as to behold his glory.

Let the Spirit in a low whisper, in a thin silence, lead me to behold God’s glory

Behold God’s glory and be transformed.

This is when the Bible is truly opened to you.

Experiencing Jesus Opens the Bible: Part 2 – The Word of the Lord Appeared

(This post is Part 2 of the series Experiencing Jesus Opens the Bible. The other posts in the series are Introduction, Part 1 – Drawn by the Holy Spirit, and Part 3 – A Low Whisper, and Part 4 – Seeing Jesus.)

We come to the Bible with presuppositions about God. Typically, as we study the Bible, those presuppositions about God – no matter if they are right or wrong – are confirmed. However, when we truly experience the life of Jesus Christ, our presuppositions about God are challenged, overturned, changed. Then, when we go the Bible, we see this new perspective of God confirmed.

In Part 1, I recounted how I experienced the life of Jesus as I was drawn by the Holy Spirit to Jesus and the Father. This changed my presupposition about God’s existence and, quite literally, opened the Bible for me.

Part 1 took place in 1996, during my junior and senior years of college. While I started reading the Bible at this time, it was sporadic at best. I would try to read it, but for the most part it made no sense to me. So, for the most part, I only read the Bible when the pastor was preaching during the Sunday service. Based on my observations and research I have read, I was a pretty typical Christian.

As the years went by, I did start to read the Bible more are more. And, I began to get more out of it. But, my understanding of it was quite literal. I went from being an evolutionist to a creationist. I believed the Old Testament as literal, factual recorded history. God ordered the flood, destroying mankind and the world. God ordered the genocide of those living in Canaan so that Israel could have the land.

Who was I to question these things, when I had such a hard time understanding what I was reading and this was how everyone around me seemed to read and understand the Bible. Therefore, without me knowing it, the thoughts and ideas of others formed my presuppositions of God that I then found support for in the Bible.

Sure, my thinking changed. But, mostly it was my beliefs about the Bible, not God, that changed.

Until I went on my first mission trip to the Philippines.

This trip took place in 2010, 14 years after I was drawn by the Holy Spirit. But, it wasn’t until I started writing this series of posts that I truly began to understand how my experience with the life of Jesus on this trip opened the Bible for me.

During the first part of the trip, our team would be attending a youth conference where we might get the opportunity to speak to the more than 1,000 youth in attendance. While I had done quite a bit of speaking for work the previous three years, this would be my first time speaking in the context of church. I was really excited about this opportunity. Since we had been given the theme of the conference, I dutifully prepared a talk based on the theme and what I felt the Spirit was wanting me to say.

Because I was tying this trip to the Philippines with a work trip to other parts of Asia, I had to book my flights earlier than the rest of the other team members. As a result, I ended up arriving in the Philippines a day later than everyone else.

Door to door, the trip took almost 36 hours and involved four plane flights. If I remember correctly, I left my house on a Sunday afternoon and arrived at the hotel in Davao around 7:00 a.m. Tuesday morning. Between the travel and the 12 hour time change, I was exhausted. But, within 30 minutes of my arriving, the team left for the campsite where the youth conference was taking place.

On the way to the campsite, I was told that I was given the last speaking slot for our team on Friday morning. I remember thinking, “Last? I don’t want to go last. I am pumped up for this and want to go right away.” On the flight to the Philippines, I had listened to the song “What You Say I Say” by Jesus Culture over and over. In fact, I listened to it over and over throughout the trip. I was determined to say whatever God wanted me to say and to do whatever God wanted me to. So, I just said okay and went along with the plan.

The youth conference started Tuesday evening with a service. Then, there were services in the morning and evening the next three days with games and competitions in the afternoon.

On Thursday afternoon, the day before I was scheduled to talk, our mission team played a basketball game against the Filipino pastors to entertain the youth. The game was full court in the middle of the afternoon, and it was very hot and humid. Now, on top of the travel and the time change, I was wiped out from playing full court basketball in the heat and humidity. And, I was supposed to speak the next day.

There was one room at the camp that had air conditioning with a few chairs and a couple of couches that our team was allowed to use to cool off. I decided I better go rest so that I fresh for my talk the next day.

I laid down on one of the couches, put my headphones on, and listened to some worship music. Of course, I listened to “What You Say I Say” several times.

While I was lying down, one of the lead Filipino pastors, Bryan, came into the cool room and laid down on the couch next to me. I didn’t think about it at the time, but later I recalled we were resting in the same position with our heads and feet at the same ends of the couches.

As I laid there, I felt the Holy Spirit put Malachi 3.10 on my heart. It says, “Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.” I thought, “That’s a cool scripture,” and went back to my worship music.

This happened several times before I realized that maybe God was trying to get my attention and I should write down what he was telling me. So, I wrote down the scripture and that God was going to open the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing that there would not be room enough to receive. I had no idea why I was writing this down, but it was clear that I should.

All the while, Bryan laid on the couch next to me resting. We never talked to each other. And, other than saying hello to each other when I first arrived, we had not really interacted at all on the trip.

A little bit later, our team went back to our hotel to get cleaned up for the evening service. On the ride back to the camp, I was so tired that I was considering not going to the service. I really wanted to go though because the praise and worship had filled me with the Spirit each day and really energized me. But, by the time we got to the camp, I knew that I couldn’t go to the service. I could barely keep my eyes open. I needed to rest some more to be ready for my turn to speak the next morning.

So, instead of going to the service, I went to the cool room. When I got there, I laid down on the same couch that Bryan had laid on when we were resting together earlier in the day. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I even laid in the exact same position that Bryan had laid in. I slept through the entire service and only got up when it was time to eat a very late dinner. 

When we got back to the hotel, I immediately went to bed. During the night, I woke up from a sort of vision or dream. In this vision, the Spirit showed me two buckets and water. The Spirit told me that I needed to pour out the water as a demonstration of how God was going to pour out his blessing. The pouring would start slow and then the flow would get bigger. Then, the Spirit showed me that I needed to pour the water from bucket into the other bucket so that the water could overflow the second bucket.

I thought about pouring the water on my head but was afraid of shorting out the microphone. So, I decided to pour the water from a big bucket into a smaller bucket so that it would overflow and spill everywhere on the ground. Then, Spirit told me that this word was for Bryan and all the churches in their network. 

When our team got to the camp the next morning, I asked for a big bucket filled with water and a small bucket. I got a funny look from the person I asked. But, I told them I really needed it. And, I asked that they try to not let anyone know.

Before going into the service, Bryan asked our team leader and me if someone was going to use a bucket in their message that day. We gave each other and awkward look and said “Yes” without saying anything more about it. I was disappointed that Bryan found out about the buckets and the water because I wanted it to be a surprise. Little did I know that it wasn’t a surprise to him and that God had already spoken to him about a bucket and water.

Finally, it was my turn to talk.

I gave the message I had prepared based on the theme of the conference. I talked about witnessing as Jesus did – by speaking and by doing. Our speaking and doing needed to be powered by the Holy Spirit. I talked about walking in the Spirit and how the Holy Spirit bears witness of what God is doing in us. The Holy Spirit bears fruit that others can see and taste of. That fruit bears witness to them of what God is doing in us. 

At the end of my talk, I told Bryan I had a word for him. I got out the two buckets, the larger one with water in it. When, I got the buckets out, I noticed Bryan lean in, paying close attention to the buckets.

I quoted Malachi 3.10 and told him that God was going to pour a blessing out on him and the churches he was connected to. The blessing was going to be so big that there would no be room to hold it, that it was going to overflow. As I was talking, I had someone from our team pour the water from the big bucket into the smaller bucket. The flow started small and got bigger and bigger. Eventually, the water overflowed the smaller bucket and spilled everywhere.

A simple word. A simple demonstration. The end.


Well…then Bryan got up speak.

He said the night before God told him to preach about water and a bucket. But, he had no idea why he was to preach about water and a bucket or even what the bucket and the water meant. Bryan said he was up all night studying the Bible about a bucket and water. He said his wife kept asking him when he was going to bed, but he told her he had to find out about a bucket and water. But, despite his searching the Bible, he never found what he was looking for.

Then, he said that God told him to put the bucket on his head but that he didn’t want to (remember I thought about doing that but was afraid of shorting out the microphone). When he saw my demonstration, he knew that he was to put the smaller bucket on his head, filling it with water from the big bucket as he ran around the church so that the water spilled everywhere. The spilled water would leave a trail of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. The bigger bucket was a symbol the Holy Spirit filling up his smaller bucket, pouring out a blessing that he would not have room to receive. But, the blessing, the spilled water, the Spirit, would be left behind everywhere he went.

Even more amazing, the message that Bryan prepared had all the same scriptures that I used in my original message about how we are to witness. Bryan said he sat to the side during my message crossing off each of the scriptures he had studied as I quoted them because there was no more need for him to say them.

I believe that God began speaking this word to both of us while we laid on the couches together. Our messages were truly an experience with the life of Jesus. We had never met each other before this trip. And, we had a spoken for just a few minutes in the couple of days I was at the camp before we both spoke at the youth conference that Friday morning.

That is quite the experience with the life of Jesus for my first time speaking in a church setting.

How did this experience with the life of Jesus open the Bible for me?

Well, it wasn’t until I thought about that in experience for this blog series, nearly eight years later, that I truly began to understand its significance and its impact on how I read the Bible.

Think about what happened.

During the day, the Spirit gave me a scripture – Malachi 3.10.

That night, I had a vision of the scripture that the Spirit gave me. In other words, the word of the Lord appeared to me. There are several times that this happens in the Bible.

Genesis 15.1 says, “After these things the word of the Lord came to Abraham in a vision.” In Galatians, Paul says that it was Abraham’s experience with the the word of the Lord appearing to him in a vision when the scripture preached the gospel to him. Jesus tells us that all scripture witnesses of him.

The word of the Lord also appeared to Samuel. “Now the boy Samuel was ministering to the Lord in the presence of Eli. And the word of the Lord was rare in those days; there was no frequent vision…And the Lord appeared again at Shiloh, for the Lord revealed himself to Samuel at Shiloh by the word of the Lord.” (1 Samuel 3.1, 21)

When the word of the Lord appeared to me in the vision, it had nothing to do with the context of Malachi 3.10. First, most people know Malachi 3.10 because of its connection to tithing. But, the meaning of this appearing of the Lord had nothing to do with tithing. In fact, there was no condition placed on the pouring out of the blessing, the Spirit, upon Bryan or the churches he was connected with.

Second, the meaning of the scripture given by the Spirit when the word of the Lord appeared to me really had nothing to do with the context of Malachi 3.10. Sure, there was the connection of a blessing being poured. But, there was no bucket or water in Malachi 3.10. There wasn’t anything that Bryan had spent all night searching the Bible for. And, the blessing being poured out was the Spirit, who would be left behind for the benefit of others. The blessing in Malachi 3.10 has to do with an agricultural blessing because of the tithe. “I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it will not destroy the fruits of your soil, and your vine in the field shall not fail to bear, says the Lord of hosts.” (Malachi 3.11)

Third, through the scripture and the word of the Lord appearing, the Spirit showed me that the meaning and the application at this time was in the context of witnessing for Jesus. The blessing being poured out was the Holy Spirit who would draw people to Jesus. For, this is what the Spirit does. He bears witness to Jesus to draw people to Jesus.

“The Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me.” (John 15.26)

“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you.” (John 16.13-14)

“For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.” (Revelation 19.10)

This experience with the life of Jesus opened the Bible to me by showing me that the meaning of scripture is fluid and dynamic, not inflexible and rigid. Sure, the meaning and application of Malachi 3.10 the Spirit gave to Bryan and me at that conference, at that moment, was completely out of context. But, it was the meaning for that moment, for that hour. Bryan and I knew this without a doubt. And, so did many others at the conference.

The Spirit gives meaning to the scripture for the moment you are in. “For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” (2 Corinthians 3.6) Life was brought by the Spirit to Malachi 3.10 in an unexpected way.

This was not a literal, inerrant, infallible, set in stone inspiration of scripture. Rather, this was an inspiration that truly brought life and revealed Jesus in a way we had not seen before.

I am not suggesting that the Bible can mean anything and everything. The Bible cannot and does not mean whatever we want it to mean. But, the Bible does mean much more than the literal words in it. The Holy Spirit will always give the Bible life, inspiration, in such a way that it points us to Jesus. This is exactly what happened when Bryan and I experienced the life of Jesus giving new meaning to Malachi 3.10.

As I look back on this experience with the life of Jesus, when the word of the Lord appeared in a vision, I can see the effect it has had on my reading and understanding of the Bible over the last three years in particular. Scripture should give life. Life is fluid and dynamic, ever changing. The Spirit will mold the meaning of the Bible so that we receive what we need from the life of Jesus in that moment.

Why else would we read a book from ancient people in ancient cultures?

Those people and those cultures have no meaning for us, no application to our lives today.

But, the life of Jesus most certainly does.

The meaning of Malachi 3.10 that Bryan and I received at that conference is not the meaning of that particular scripture for everyone, for all time. It was the meaning for that moment. For others in a different time, the meaning and application will be different.

Many Christians fear that the meaning of scripture could dynamically change in this way. Many Christians want scripture to have its meaning set in stone. They want there to be one meaning for everyone at all time. They want to have the right meaning, the right understanding. However, this is what causes so much arguing over the Bible. This is what causes more than 30,000 denominations to form.

And, it’s this fear of a dynamic meaning of the Bible that actually kills the life of Jesus that the Spirit is inspiring and witnessing to.

Instead, we should take joy in how God reveals so much more than the literal meaning of the written words to us through the Bible. It is actually quite amazing that God does this. And, if we took joy in that and if we sought the fresh and different meanings others have received from the Spirit through the Bible about Jesus, then we would all come to a fuller understanding of just who God is and what he is like.

So, when I experienced the life of Jesus through the word of the Lord appearing in a vision, my presupposition about a fixed and literal meaning of God in the Bible was changed. Now instead of my thinking about the Bible changing, it is my thinking about God that has changed. I see him in a whole new light. He didn’t wipe out humanity in the flood. He didn’t destroy whole people groups in the promised land. And on and on. That’s not who God is.

It took a long time for that to happen. But, the end result is that Bible has been opened to me in a way that I never knew was possible. And, because of that, I know more of God than I ever thought possible. It just took an experience with the life of Jesus to make that new understanding possible.

Experiencing Jesus Opens the Bible: Part 1 – Drawn by the Holy Spirit

(This post is Part 1 of the series Experiencing Jesus Opens the Bible. The other posts in the series are Introduction, Part 2 – The Word of the Lord Appeared, and Part 3 – A Low Whisper, and Part 4 – Seeing Jesus.)

In the introduction to this series, I noted that we come to the Bible with presuppositions about God. Typically, as we study the Bible, those presuppositions about God – no matter if they are right or wrong – are confirmed. However, when we truly experience the life of Jesus Christ, our presuppositions about God are challenged, overturned, changed. Then, when we go the Bible, we see this new perspective of God confirmed.

Therefore, experiencing the life of Jesus Christ opens the Bible to us.

In today’s post, I want to share with you my first experiences with the life of Jesus that, quite literally, opened the Bible to me.

I grew up in a non-religious, non-spiritual home. I vaguely remember attending a Sunday school class one time. However, I can’t recall a single conversation from my childhood that had anything to do with God, religion, faith, or spirituality.

So it might surprise you that I chose to attend a Catholic high school. But, I didn’t choose the school because it was Catholic. In fact, I chose the school in spite of it being Catholic. My reason for picking the school was that it had the best golf team in the city, and I wanted to be a professional golfer. It didn’t hurt that it was an academically challenging school as well.

Attending this Catholic high school was my first confrontation with the world of religion. I had to take religion class all four years of high school. I remember feeling picked on by the teacher in my freshman religion class – not because he was being mean to me but because he seemingly would call on me to answer every question.

We also had to attend mass several times throughout the year. I found the mass to be incredibly boring and pointless. So, I tried to get my mom to let me stay home on those days.

I remember telling classmates that all this religion stuff was not for me. I was an atheist. I didn’t believe in God. I believe in logic, facts, science, math, rational thinking. I don’t think I was ever antagonistic about it. I told my classmates I had no problem with them being religious, but it just wasn’t for me.

My mom’s parents were churchgoers, which is probably why I have that vague Sunday school memory. I remember my grandmother more than once giving me a Bible during my high school years.

One of the Bibles was from the PTL Club and Jim Baker (amazing the things that stick in our minds). That Bible sat on my shelf for years. I never once touched it. I never once opened it. I remember thinking to myself, “My grandmother is crazy. Why does she give me Bibles? Doesn’t she know that I am never going to read this thing?”

Choosing the Catholic high school for its excellent golf team paid off. I ended up going to college on a golf scholarship. A guy on the team a year ahead of me became my best friend. Both us had no problem with silence and did not need a lot of people around us. My best friend and I hung out together quite a bit. But, in my junior year, he got a girlfriend. We stopped hanging out together as much. I started to feel pretty lonely.

One December night I was lying in bed feeling particularly lonely. I wanted someone to hang out with. But, as close as I was to my teammate, I didn’t want another guy friend. I wanted a woman to be close to. However, I was introverted and shy and not comfortable striking up a conversation with anyone, especially a woman I was interested in.

So, I did something I had never done before.

I talked with God.

Well, I didn’t really talk with God. It was more like I threw him a challenge.

“God, if you exist, then I want to meet my wife for my birthday.”

That was the extent of my talk with God.

Come on God. Prove to me that you are real. Do something for me. Otherwise, I will be perfectly free to keep denying your existence.

Shortly thereafter I put a personal ad in the local paper. (Like I said, I was really uncomfortable with the idea of striking up a conversation with a woman I was interested in.) Several women answered the ad. One of the women I went on a couple of dates with. But, there was no spark, no connection.

Then, a couple of weeks before my birthday in late February, I got one last response to my ad. Her name was Dawn. We agreed to meet at the Friday’s for dinner about a block from campus.

I can still picture the table I was sitting at when Dawn walked into the restaurant. As soon as I saw Dawn walk in and I knew she was my blind date, I remember telling myself, “I am going to marry her.”

We stayed at the restaurant for hours talking. Eventually, they had to ask us to leave so they could close.

I left a message for Dawn the very next day, telling her what a great time I had and that I would like to go out again. When we finally got to talk to each other, I remember telling Dawn about that lonely night back in December when I asked God to prove that he existed by giving me my wife for my birthday. (Yes, I did that after one date. No, I have no idea what the dating rules are or how to follow them.)

Dawn responded that she was a Christian and she did not believe in coincidences. Things happened for a reason. I thought to myself that this was the end of the relationship. I want to date her. But, I am not a Christian. So, why would she want to date me?

We went out a second time pretty close to my birthday. We kept talking to each other on the phone. Dawn invited me to come to church with her. I told her that I would do that.

While I was home for spring break, I called Dawn and told her that I wanted to come to church with her that Sunday when I drove back to school. Dawn said that wasn’t a good Sunday. I told her that I really wanted to come that Sunday. She reiterated that it wasn’t a good day to come. Maybe I could come the following Sunday. I finally wore her down. I was going to church with her that Sunday.

Remember, I had basically never been to church in my life. I was from Ohio (the north) but going to school in Tennessee (the south). Dawn was African-American. She went to a Baptist church. So, here was this young white kid from the north going to church for the first time at an all black Baptist church in the south.

As we walked into the church, I noticed people were carrying tambourines with them. I remember thinking that was sort of weird. “What have I gotten myself into?”

Dawn decided that we were going to sit in the front row. The service started, and the choir paraded into the church singing. The music was loud, but really good. All of them women started dancing. Next thing I knew, women were falling to the ground. I sat there stiff as a board. Later, Dawn told me she could see the blood draining from the top of my head down my face as I turned whiter and whiter. And, she didn’t want me to come that Sunday because many of the women were coming back from a T.D. Jakes Woman Thou Art Loosed conference. Dawn knew what was going to happen and was afraid it would scare me away.

The music finally stopped. The pastor started preaching. I don’t remember a single thing he said. But, I can remember saying to myself, “How does he know that about me?” It was like everything he said was directed right at me. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was starting to experience the life of Jesus Christ.

I kept going to church every Sunday with Dawn. A few months later at the end of the school year, I wanted to join the church. But, I didn’t want to do it and then not show up for the next three months while I was back home on summer break. So, I told myself I would join the church that fall when I came back to school.

Before I left school for the summer, Dawn and I had already talked of getting married. We continued to talk about getting married after I went home for the summer. When I visited for her birthday in July, she had a pretty good idea I was bringing an engagement ring with me. I proposed and she accepted on Friday.

That Sunday we went to church. It was my first time at church since I went home for the summer. At the end of the service, the pastor did an altar call. As he normally did during the altar call, he wandered around the church singing, inviting people to have a relationship with Jesus.

Now, the pastor and I had never spoke before. So, he knew nothing about me. But, this Sunday, as he walked around the church singing, he stopped and stood right next to me. The pastor was pretty tall, and I felt him towering over me.

I had wanted to join the church several months ago, but I didn’t feel it was the right time. I was determined not to give the my life to Jesus that Sunday morning. It wasn’t the right time. I wanted to wait until fall. So, I turned in my seat so I would not have to look at the pastor.

The pastor just continued to stand there. The whole time he stood there he just kept singing the line, “Is there a better time than now?” I started crying.

He sang that line over and over again.

“Is there a better time than now?”

“Is there a better time than now?”

The more he sang that line, the more I cried.

At last, I felt my shirt lift off of my chest. To this day, I can see a hand grabbing my shirt right in the middle of my chest and pulling me out of my seat. I was determined not to get up, but this hand just lifted me right out of my seat.

I got up and gave my life to Jesus the same weekend that I got engaged to Dawn, the woman that I met just two weeks for before my birthday.

God was answering my challenge – “God, if you exist, then I want to meet my wife for my birthday.”

Dawn and I were married that December, just nine months after we met and about one year after I challenged God.

But, let’s go back to that Sunday morning I was pulled out of me seat. At the time, I did not have the language to express what happened. But, I knew beyond a doubt God had moved in my life.

I had felt the hand of God.

I had experienced God.

I felt God’s hand lift me out of my seat. I felt God’s hand pull me toward him. This was a crucial experience with God for me. Remember, I based everything on logic, facts, science, math, rational thinking. But, I could not explain this experience. Experiencing God’s hand lift me out of my seat…I could not explain away this supernatural thing that I knew had happened to me.

Prior to this experience, I had a presupposition that God was not real. He did not exist. I dared God to prove my presupposition about him wrong. And, God most certainly revealed to me that he existed. He was real. I felt his hand. I experienced him.

After this experience with the life of Jesus Christ, I had a desire to read the Bible.

The Bible.

That same book that my grandmother had given me all those years ago that I swore I would never open.

That same book that sat closed on my shelf for years.

But, I started read the book (sporadically at best). Experiencing the life of Jesus Christ opened the Bible for me. Literally.

I would never have chosen to open the Bible on my own. God did not exist. Therefore, there was no need to read a book about him.

But, my experience with the life of Jesus Christ, changed my presupposition about God. He did exist. He was real. My presupposition about God had changed, and now I went to the Bible to confirm and understand my experience that God did indeed exist. My experience with Jesus opened the Bible to me.

Over time, as I read the Bible, I developed language for my experience with the hand of God that Sunday morning.

“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day. It is written in the Prophets, ‘And they will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard and learned from the Father comes to me.” (John 6.44-45)

“It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life…This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.” (John 6.63, 65)

“And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” (John 12.32)

As I read the Bible, my experience with the life of Jesus Christ was confirmed. The Bible bore witness to my experience with Jesus.

From the moment I challenged God to the moment I was lifted out of my seat by his hand, Jesus was being lifted up in my heart and he was drawing me to himself. The Father who sent Jesus was drawing me. He was teaching me. I was hearing and learning from the Father in my spirit even though I was not aware of it in the flesh, in my mind. I was hearing words of spirit and life. And, it is God’s Spirit that gives life.

That Sunday morning, it was the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God, the Spirit of Jesus Christ, drawing me out of my seat to come to the Father. His drawing me out of my seat was the culmination of what I had been hearing and learning from the Father in my spirit.

All without ever having opened the Bible.

But, experiencing the life of Jesus Christ through the drawing of the Holy Spirit changed my presuppositions about God. And, that experience with the life of Jesus Christ opened the Bible for me.

Experiencing Jesus Opens the Bible: Introduction

(This post is the Introduction to the series Experiencing Jesus Opens the Bible. The other posts in the series are Part 1 – Drawn by the Holy Spirit, Part 2 – The Word of the Lord Appeared, and Part 3 – A Low Whisper, and Part 4 – Seeing Jesus.)

Do you know Jesus through the Bible or experience?

The Bible is an amazing book. I believe studying the Bible is important. That is why I just spent every day last year reading and writing about the Bible on this blog.

However, we often fail to recognize something very important, which is that we come to the Bible with certain presuppositions about who God is. For the most part, these presuppositions about God formed before we even knew they were forming. Forces that unknowingly form our presuppositions about God include parents, friends, pastors, churches, culture, and society. Of course, there are many more.

As we study the Bible, we think we are discovering truth. But, oftentimes, we are simply finding evidence in an inspired book that strengthens and hardens our presuppositions about God.

Why does that happen?

How do we guard against that?

What do we need to stop that from happening?


Not any experiences.

Not all experiences.

But a certain, specific experience.

Why does the Bible strengthen and harden our presuppositions about God?

Because we have not experienced the life of Jesus Christ.

How do we guard against the Bible strengthening and hardening our presuppositions about God?

By experiencing the life of Jesus Christ.

What do we need at all times to stop the Bible from strengthening and hardening our presuppositions about God?

Experiences with the life of Jesus Christ.

I was inspired to think about this by a comment from Blaine Keller on my post “What Love Is or What Love Does?” Blaine stated how his understanding of the Bible was changing. I mentioned how I had changed by a direct encounter with Jesus. Blaine said he would love to hear about this direct encounter some time.

As I thought about the discussion with Blaine, I realized how much my experiences with the life of Jesus Christ changed my thinking. Further, I realized that in almost every case I experienced the life of Jesus in some specific way and then my thinking, particularly my presuppositions about God that I approached the Bible with, changed as a result.

At roughly the same time I was having this discussion with Blaine, I read the first blog post in a series titled “Our Need for Religious Experience” by Richard Beck. He made the connection that people, particularly younger adults, do not desire to go to church anymore because they were not having religious experiences with God there. Beck argued that the problem was not so much with the church. Rather, the problem was that we have closed ourselves off to religious experiences. I think we can extrapolate Beck’s point to Bible study as well.

People do not want to read the Bible because they have not had an experience with the life of Jesus Christ.

People read the Bible wrongly because they have closed themselves off from experiencing the life of Christ in their daily lives. It has become more or less an intellectual pursuit. Then, there is nothing standing between their presuppositions about God and the Bible. The Bible becomes their presuppositions about God.

People experience the life of Christ in their daily lives, but that experience does not line up with what they are taught about the Bible in church. So, they turn away from the Bible or want to get rid of the Old Testament because they deem it offensive to the life of Christ they are experiencing.

But, instead of not reading the Bible, using the Bible to harden and strengthen our presuppositions about God, or turning our backs on the Bible in whole or in part, we should allow our experience with the life of Christ to change our presuppositions about God that we bring to the Bible. We should allow our experience with the life of Jesus Christ to be the foundation of our belief of who God is and what God is like. When we do this, the Bible becomes an entirely different book, and we see God in the Bible in an entirely different way.

That our experience with the life of Jesus Christ changes our understanding of the Bible is found within the Bible itself.

John 5.36-40 says, “But the testimony that I have is greater than that of John. For the works that the Father has given me to accomplish, the very works that I am doing, bear witness about me that the Father has sent me. And the Father who sent me has himself borne witness about me. His voice you have never heard and his form you have never seen, and you do not have his word abiding in you, for you do not believe the one whom he has sent. You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life.”

John was the greatest person of the Old Testament. Therefore, he had the greatest testimony of the Old Testament. But, Jesus’ testimony was even greater than John’s. Jesus’ testimony, the works that he was doing, bore witness about himself and that the Father sent him.

Amazingly, Jesus, the most important person in history, didn’t write a book to reveal who God, his Father, was. He did works. He did things that could be experienced. Jesus did things that people could see, hear, and touch. Therefore, “That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our own eyes, which we have looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life – the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us – that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, that you may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.” (1 John 1.1-3)

Why could the Jews Jesus was speaking to in John 5 not receive his testimony?

Because they were locked into a certain way of reading scripture formed by their presuppositions about and traditions of who God was and the messiah, Jesus Christ, would be. But, instead of looking to the scripture for eternal life (a.k.a God), Jesus told these Jews they needed to come to him. They needed to experience him, his testimony, his works. Then, these experiences of the life of Jesus Christ would change their understanding of scripture.

We read something similar in Luke 24. Two disciples were walking from Jerusalem to Emmaus after Jesus was crucified. They were talking to each other about everything that had happened when a stranger asked them what they were talking about. The two disciples didn’t know it, but the stranger was Jesus.

Jesus went on to tell the two disciples that it was necessary for everything that happened to have happened. “And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.” (Luke 24.27) Even though this stranger, who was Jesus, had just explained all scripture to them in a new and different way, these two disciples still were not getting it.

What caused the stranger to be revealed?

What caused them to see Jesus?

What gave them the full understanding of what Jesus was teaching them about the scriptures?

An experience of the life of Jesus Christ.

“When he was at table with them, he took the bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them. And their eyes were opened, and they recognized him. And he vanished from their sight. They said to each other, ‘Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures?'” (Luke 24.30-32)

It was when Jesus broke bread with the two disciples that they understood everything. It was then that they realized their hearts were burning within them as Jesus revealed to them the truth of scripture.

Of course, breaking bread is symbolic of the breaking of Jesus’ body, the giving of his life, for us. When we experience Jesus giving his life for us, the breaking of bread, it changes how we perceive and understand scripture. Then, our hearts begin to burn within us as we read scripture.

Burning symbolizes purification throughout the Bible. So, as we experience the life of Jesus Christ, he interprets scripture for us in a way that our hearts are purified. Therefore, the presuppositions about God that we brought to the Bible are burned away and we are left with the pure image of Jesus, and God, as the only thing that the Bible bears witness to.

Study the life of Paul and you will find the same thing. He had an experience with the life of Jesus Christ that radically changed the presuppositions about God that he brought to scripture. Paul wrote about this repeatedly in his letters, perhaps most clearly in 2 Corinthians 3 and 4.

So, over the next few posts, I will share some of my significant experiences with the life of Jesus Christ that changed the way I read and understand the Bible.

Recapping 2017 and Looking Ahead to 2018

I have read through the Bible more than 10 times in the last seven years. But, I never recorded any of my thoughts from those readings. Therefore, in 2017, I decided to read through the Bible, three to four chapters a day, and write about what the Holy Spirit was speaking to me that day. Specifically, every day I asked the Holy Spirit to show me Jesus in that day’s reading. That was the genesis of this blog.

Yesterday, I finished the task of writing 365 blog posts in 365 days.

I had to stop writing just now and ponder that previous sentence for a few minutes.

365 blog posts in 365 days!

I’m glad I didn’t think the project through ahead of time.

I started each day asking the Holy Spirit to reveal Jesus to me. My desire was to see Jesus in every part of the Bible, even the really boring parts such as the genealogies.

Then, I did my daily reading of three to four chapters in the Bible. Typically, this took about 30 minutes.

I tried to be sensitive to any word, phrases, or sentences that the Holy Spirit called out in my spirit. Sometimes, I knew right away what I was to right about. Other times, I had to do quite a bit of research on what the Holy Spirit prompted in my spirit. Depending on the day, the research phase lasted anywhere from 15 minutes to several hours.

Then, I wrote my post to show how I saw Jesus in that day’s passage of scripture. If I had to guess, each day’s post averaged 1,500-2,000 words. If you’re not a writer, then let me tell to you- that’s a lot writing. If I had to guess, then I would estimate I averaged about an hour a day actually writing the post.

Typically, I finished all of this between 6:00 to 6:30 a.m. each day.

I have always been an early riser. But, my sleeping schedule in 2017 was more unusual than ever. I woke up between 1:00 and 3:00 a.m. most days. An alarm clock was never involved. I just woke up. And, I usually woke up at a time that allowed me to finish my post by 6:00 to 6:30 a.m. As a result, I typically went to bed about 8:00 p.m.

During 2017, I had several illnesses – a severe cold and some sort of flu.

Also, I traveled a lot for work. Sometimes, I had a day trip to Chicago. Other times, I had week long trips to India or Germany with time changes of 11.5 and 6 hours, respectively.

And, there were some vacations during the year too.

But, I never worked ahead for any day’s post.

And, I never had to catch up because I missed a day.

I did the reading, researching, and writing for that day on that day every day.

At the start, I didn’t think about any of these things.

Looking back, I’m amazed I finished the project.

From the start, I told myself that I would finish this project whether anyone read the blog or not. But, I would be lying if I said that the response to the blog did not play a part in keeping me going throughout the year.

Not surprisingly, the year started with very little traffic. In January, I averaged 11 views per day.

Then, some Facebook friends – Keith Giles and Richard Murray – started sharing my posts. My traffic started to increase. From February to September, I averaged between 20 to 30 views per day. Through September I was writing only about the Old Testament.

In October, I started writing about the New Testament, and my traffic increased some more. Also, I started using a question as the title for every post. I noticed changing the title to a question increased the amount of search traffic to my blog. (This is something I learned at work as I work at a media company.) In October and November, I averaged almost 50 views a day.

But, in December I averaged more than 70 views a day. Looking at the daily traffic, I immediately could see the reason why – the book of Revelation. So, if you want to just generate traffic, then write about Revelation every day.

However, more than paying attention to the views, the most motivating statistic was the list of countries that viewed my blog each day. I got a real kick out of seeing what new countries visited my blog. I enjoyed watching this world map fill.

By the end of the year, people in 98 different countries had read a post. The top 10 countries were:

  1. United States
  2. Australia
  3. Philippines
  4. Canada
  5. United Kingdom
  6. India
  7. European Union (how is that a country?)
  8. South Africa
  9. Norway
  10. Fiji

But, I also had just one view from countries around the world. The 10 most recent countries with just one view were:

  1. Colombia
  2. British Virgin Islands
  3. Grenada
  4. Antigua & Barbuda
  5. Belarus
  6. Nepal
  7. Egypt
  8. Mozambique
  9. Slovenia
  10. Moldova

All told, I had 11,665 views from 7,364 visitors from 98 countries in 2017.

Thank you to everyone that read even just one post. And, thank you to those that liked posts, commented on posts, or sent me a word of encouragement.

Well, enough about 2017.

What about 2018?

Will I continue the blog?


But, I’m not going to blog every day. My current plan is to post every Wednesday and Saturday.

What am I going to blog about?


But, I’m going to write about him in different ways than I did in 2017. I know my first series of posts will be about practical experiences I have had with Jesus that have built my faith. I read a lot of books on theology and listen to a lot of sermons and Christian podcasts. These book, sermons, and podcasts, along with my continued daily Bible reading, will serve as inspiration for my posts.

Prior to starting this blog, I had begun writing a book. The idea for the book came from the well-known quip that form follows function. But, this quip is actually part of a larger quote from a magazine article on architecture written by Louis Sullivan in the 1890s. The full quote is “It is the pervading law of all things organic and inorganic, of all things physical and metaphysical, of all things human and all things superhuman, of all true manifestations of the head, of the heart, of the soul, that the life is recognizable in its expression, that form ever follows function. This is the law.”

That quote reminded me a lot of Colossians 1.15-17, which says, “He [Jesus] is the image [form] of the invisible God [function], the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities – all things were created [for any created thing, form ever follows function] through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”

I put that book on hold to start this blog. However, in a roundabout way, that quote is what this blog always has been about. So, I plan to continue writing that book and hopefully even finishing it in 2018. It is highly likely that the book will contribute to a significant number of posts in 2018.

I hope you will keep reading the blog.

And, thank you again for reading even one post, following along with me through the Bible, and sending me a word of encouragement in 2017.

What Is the Second Death in the Book of Revelation?


“This is the second death, the lake of fire.” (Revelation 20.14)

“But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” (Revelation 21.8)

Perhaps more than any other verses in the Bible, it is these two verses that Christians have used to justify the belief that there will be some people that God will eternally consciously torment in a burning lake of fire. In other words, there are some people that God will cause to suffer forever and forever.

Other Christians soften this view slightly by saying that instead of being tormented forever these people will be annihilated. These people will no longer exist in any sense because they will have been completely destroyed in the lake of fire.

Are either of these views what the book of Revelation and the Bible as a whole mean by the second death?

I believe the answer is absolutely not for anyone who has ears to hear and eyes to see.

Then what is the second death in the book of Revelation?

The phrase “second death” appears four times in the book of Revelation but nowhere else in the Bible. If the book of Revelation speaks of a second death, there must also be a first death. Yet, nowhere does the book of Revelation explicitly speak of a first death. However, in order to answer the question of what is the second death we need to know what the first death is.

So, what is the first death?

“And just as it is appointed for man to die once.” (Hebrews 9.27)

“By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are of dust, and to dust you shall return.” (Genesis 3.19)

Everyone that physically lives will die. God created us from the dust of the earth and to the dust of the earth we will return when we die. So, the first death is the physical, or natural, death of the body.

There is a principle in scripture that first there is the natural and then there is the spiritual. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15.44, 46, “It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body…But it is not the spiritual that is first but the natural, and then the spiritual.”

The first thing that happens to any person is that they are born naturally, or physically. But, there is also a second birth, a birth that is spiritual, from above, or heavenly.

“Jesus answered him, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.'” (John 3.3)

Jesus told Nicodemus, a man that had been been naturally, or physically, that he could not see the kingdom of God unless he was born again, or born a second time. Nicodemus clearly understood that Jesus was speaking of being born a second time because he replied, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” (John 3.4)

In John 3.6-7, 8, Jesus responded, “That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again’…So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

Jesus tells Nicodemus there is a natural, physical, birth, and there is a spiritual birth. The whole conversation reveals that the natural, physical birth comes first and the spiritual birth comes second. The first birth is of the dust, and the second birth is from above, of the spirit, of heaven. Therefore, Paul says, “The first man was from the earth, a man of dust; the second man is from heaven.” (1 Corinthians 15.47)

Therefore, if the first death is natural, physical, then the second death is spiritual.

If the second death is spiritual, then does that not mean that the person’s spirit will be annihilated, putting their spirit to death?

No it does not.

Then, what is a spiritual death?

The Bible speaks very clearly as to what the second death, the spiritual death, is. The second death, the spiritual death, is a death to sin.

Sin does not come about physically. Rather, sin comes from evil desire, something not physical, and therefore, spiritual. “Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin.”

Therefore, “you also must consider yourselves dead to sin.” (Romans 6.11) To reckon yourself dead to sin is to die to something spiritual not physical. Therefore, to reckon yourself dead to sin is to consider yourself already having died the second death, the spiritual death, even though you have not died the first death, the physical death.

One should notice that when you reckon yourself dead to sin you are “alive to God in Christ.” (Romans 8.11) Spiritual death results in spiritual life. Or, we could say that the second death results in the second life.

This second death does not apply to everyone. “Over such the second death has no power.” (Revelation 20.6)

Who are these that the second death, spiritual death, has no power over?

“Blessed and holy is the one who shares in the first resurrection!” (Revelation 20.6)

Who are the ones that participate in the first resurrection?

“Then I saw thrones, and seated on them were those to whom the authority to judge was committed. Also I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded for the testimony of Jesus and for the word of God, and those who had not worshiped the beast or its image and had not received its mark on their foreheads or their hands. They came to life and reigned with Christ for a thousand years.” (Revelation 20.4)

“They came to life.” This is describing who were dead that came to life in Jesus Christ.

John saw “the souls of those who had been beheaded for the testimony of Jesus and for the word of God.” John isn’t talking about bodies here. He is talking about souls, spirits, coming to life. These are the ones that participate in the first resurrection. Further, these are souls of those who have been beheaded.

Have you ever considered that if you truly believe in Jesus that you have been beheaded?

Even if you are alive?

Because you have been beheaded spiritually?

You have been beheaded and have a new head. Jesus “is the head of the body, the church.” (Colossians 1.18) God “gave him [Jesus] as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.” (Ephesians 1.22-23)

Revelation 20.4 says that those who participate in the first resurrection are going to reign with Christ because they came to life with him. This is just what Paul says in Ephesians 2.4-6.

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – by grace you have been saved – and raised us up with him and seated us with him in heavenly places in Christ Jesus.”

We were dead in sins. But, we were made alive together with Christ. And, we were seated with him, on thrones, in heavenly places to reign with him.

Paul says all of this again in another way in Romans 6.4-8.

“We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.”

The believer has already died a spiritual death to sin by being baptized in Christ’s death “for the death he died he died to sin, once for all,” (Romans 6.10) If we have already died with Christ, symbolically through baptism, then we have already died the second death, the spiritual death. Therefore, the second death has no power over the believer.

This all happens right now for the believer. Therefore, the 1,000 years, which is a symbolic number as is virtually everything else in Revelation, is happening right now.

But, “the rest of the dead did not come to life until the thousand years were ended.” (Revelation 20.5)

Did you get that?

Those that do not believe in Jesus, those that do not participate in the first resurrection, the rest of the dead do not get eternally tormented in a burning lake of fire or annihilated.

The rest of the dead come to life.


At the end of the thousand years.

How do they come to life?

Dying to sin.

Spiritual death.

Or, going through the second death.

“But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for the murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” (Revelation 21.8)

All of the things listed are sins that the unbeliever has not died to. The unbeliever is still practicing these sins. “Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning.” (1 John 3.8) Lies are murder are most definitely works of the devil (John 8.44) as are the other things listed that have their share in the lake of fire. But, “the reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.” (1 John 3.8)

Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil.

Jesus came to destroy sin.

But, Jesus did not come to destroy the works of God.

Jesus did not come to destroy people.

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2.10)

So, people go through the second death, spiritual death, to be reckoned dead to sin. They go through the fire to purge their old selves, their false identities, because they did not reckon themselves dead to sin and did not get baptized into Christ’s death.

But, spiritual death results in spiritual life as I have already outlined above.

The rest of the dead will come to life though.

After going through the fire.

When the 1,000 years have ended.

Therefore, “he who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’ Also he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.’ And he said to me, ‘It is done!'” (Revelation 21.5-6)

Therefore, when the new Jerusalem, the city of God, comes down from heaven, “by its light will the nations walk, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it, and its gates will never be shut by day – and there will be no night there.” (Revelation 21.24-25)

The gates of the new Jerusalem are never shut so that when the rest of the dead go through the fire, purging their old selves, dying to sin, the second death, the spiritual death, and come to life they too can enter into the new Jerusalem and have eternal fellowship with God and Jesus.

Why Does Jesus Kill All Men Gathered Against Him with the Sword of His Mouth?


“And the rest were slain by the sword that came from the mouth of him who was sitting on the horse, and all the birds were gorged with their flesh.” (Revelation 19.21)

In Revelation 19.11, John sees heaven open and a white horse appears. The rider on the white horse was called faithful and true.

Who is the rider on the white horse?


Revelation 1.5 calls Jesus “the faithful witness.” And, Revelation 3.14 calls Jesus “the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God’s creation.”

John says Jesus judges and makes war in righteousness.

How does Jesus judge and make war in righteousness?

On the cross.

The righteousness of God is revealed by Jesus on the cross (Romans 3.21-26. You can read about this in What Is the Righteousness of God and Its Effect?

Speaking of Jesus on the white horse, John says, “From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations.” (Revelation 19.15) This same sword in Jesus’ mouth is previously mentioned twice in Revelation. Verse 1.16 says, “From his mouth came a sharp two-edged sword.” And, verse 2.12 says, “The word of him who has the sharp two-edged sword.”

Clearly, this is not a literal sword. Jesus does not have a literal sword coming out of his mouth by which he is going to literally kill people. Since the sword is coming from his mouth, this is clearly a reference to Jesus’ word. In Revelation 19.13, John said of Jesus, “The name by which he is called is The Word of God.” This fits with Hebrews 4.12, which says, “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword.”

The sharp two-edged sword coming from Jesus’ mouth is to “strike down the nations.” Verse 19.15 continues, “And he will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty.” This is all an allusion to Psalm 2.

Psalm 2.1-2 says, “Why do the nations rage and the peoples plot in vain? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the Lord and against his Anointed.”

Jesus is going to strike the nations that gather themselves together against him with the sharp two-edged sword in his mouth.

Psalm 2.5 says, “Then he will speak to them in his wrath, and terrify them in his fury.”

In the Septuagint, this verse uses the same Greek words for wrath [orge] and fury [thymos] that are used in Revelation 19.15. You can read more about these words and Jesus’ treading of the winepress alone in What Is the Wrath of God?

Jesus is going to tread the winepress, that is go to the cross, alone. It is by treading the winepress alone that Jesus is going to judge and make war against the nations in righteousness, by the cross, that have gathered against him.

Speaking of this battle where the nations gather together against the messiah, Psalm 2.7 says, “I will tell of the decree: The Lord said to me, ‘You are my Son; today I have begotten you.'”

Jesus became the begotten son of God not when he was born by Mary but when he was born of God in his resurrection. This is why Revelation 1.5 says that Jesus is the “firstborn of the dead.” Colossians 1.18 says, “He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead.” Acts 26.23 says, Jesus was “the first to rise from the dead.” Romans 8.29 says that God is conforming us to the image of Jesus “in order that he [Jesus] might be the firstborn among many brothers.”

Jesus was the begotten son of God, the first to be born from death to life.

Therefore, Revelation 19.11-21 is to be understood as a revelation, an unveiling, of what happened at the cross.

So, John saw an angel calling with a loud voice to all the birds, “Come, gather for the great supper of God.” (Revelation 19.17)

What were these birds to gather and eat at the great supper of God?

“To eat the flesh of kings, the flesh of captains, the flesh of mighty men, the flesh of horses and their riders, and the flesh of all men, both free and slave, both small and great.”

It is important to notice the repetition of the word flesh. It is the flesh that the birds have been gathered together to eat.

With the kings of the earth and their armies, John saw the beast. In this battle, the beast was captured. And, so was the false prophet who deceived all those that had received the mark of the beast, worshiped it image, and gathered against Jesus for war.

What happened to the beast and false prophet after this battle?

“These two were thrown alive in the lake of that burns with sulfur.” (Revelation 19.20)

The beast and the false prophet led the kings of the earth and their armies into war against Jesus and were thrown into the lake of fire because of it.

But, what about the kings and their armies?

Were they thrown into the lake of fire too?


“And the rest were slain by the sword that came from the mouth of him who sitting on the horse.” (Revelation 19.21)

The kings and their armies, the captains, the mighty men, and all men – free and slave, small and great – were slain by the sword.

The Greek word for slain is apokteino. It means to kill or slay. It can also mean destroy. This is word is used 74 times in the New Testament. It is used almost exclusively in regards to the Jews killing the prophets and Jesus.

In fact, Revelation 19.21 is the first and only instance of Jesus, or God, actually killing, slaying any person in the New Testament.

There is only one other time where Jesus and God are said to actually kill something.

“For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing [apokteino] the hostility.” (Ephesians 2.14-16)

Through the cross, Jesus kills “the hostility.”

What hostility?

In one sense, the hostility between Jew and Gentile.

But, I believe in a greater sense our mankind’s hostility to God.

Where does man’s hostility to God reside?

“For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” (Romans 8.7-8)

The Greek word for hostile in Romans 8.7 is the same Greek word for hostile in Ephesians 2.14, 16.

Hostility to God resides in the mind set on the flesh. And, the flesh cannot please God.

Why did the angel call the birds to gather for the great supper of God?

“To eat the flesh of kings, the flesh of captains, the flesh of mighty men, the flesh of horses and their riders, and the flesh of all men, both free and slave, both small and great.” (Revelation 19.18)

Why were the rest, all those in the verse above, “slain by the sword that came from the mouth of him [Jesus]”?

So that “all the birds were gorged with their flesh.”

But, what does it mean to be slain by the sharp two-edged sword in Jesus’ mouth?

What does it mean to be killed by the word of God?

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” (Hebrews 4.12-13)

To be killed by the word of God, the sharp two-edged sword, means not our literal, physical death but the separation of our flesh from our spirit.

In Revelation 19.21, Jesus kills all the flesh of those gathered against him because the mind set on the flesh is hostile to God. Because this the flesh and the mind set on it cannot please God, Jesus separates the flesh from us with the sword of his mouth, the word of God.

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh.” (Romans 8.5)

Remember, the setting for this battle is the cross. Through the cross, Jesus gives peace, killing our hostility to God. He removes our flesh and gives us his Spirit.

“But those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit…But to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8.5, 6)

In reality, Jesus and God do not physically kill mankind.

Rather, Jesus and God kill the flesh of mankind.

Which means that Jesus and God separate the spirit of each person from their flesh so that they can please God.

What Is the Wrath of God?


“Then I saw another sign in heaven, great and amazing, seven angels with seven plagues, which are the last, for with them the wrath of God is finished.” (Revelation 15.1)

The English phrase “wrath of God” occurs 11 times in the Bible, all of which are found in the New Testament. Five of the 11 occurrences are in the book of Revelation. Five of the occurrences are in the letters of Paul – Romans, Ephesians, and Colossians. “Wrath of God” appears one time in John’s gospel. So, no New Testament writer other than John and Paul uses the phrase “wrath of God.”

The English word wrath is not the same Greek word in all 11 cases.

In the instances outside the book of Revelation, the Greek word for wrath is orge, which means anger or wrath. Orge has to do with a natural impulse or propensity for anger or wrath, one’s temperament, one’s disposition, or one’s nature.

But, in the book of Revelation, the Greek word for wrath in the phrase “wrath of God” is thymos. This is true in every case but one. In this one case orge is used, but it is preceded by thymos. Thymos means passion (as if breathing hard), according to A Concise Dictionary of the Words in the Greek Testament and the Hebrew Bible.

However, according to An Intermediate Greek-English Lexicon, thymos means the soul. In one sense it means the soul, breath, life. But, in another sense it means the soul or heart. In this second sense it can have five uses:

  1. of desire, including for meat and drink
  2. mind, temper, will
  3. spirit, courage
  4. as the seat of anger
  5. the soul as the agent of thought

Thymos has more to do with the principle of life, feeling, and thought, particularly strong feeling or passion. Therefore, thymos does not have to be strictly about fury, anger, or wrath as it is typically translated.

So, what is the wrath of God?

Before we can answer that question, we should look at how orge and thymos are used outside of the context of the wrath of God.

Only five of the 36 times orge is used in the New Testament are found in the gospels. And, only once is used specifically of Jesus.

Mark 3.4-5 says, “And he [Jesus] said to them, ‘Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do harm, to save life or to kill?’ But they were silent. And he looked around at them with anger [orge], grieved at their hardness of heart, and said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ He stretched it out, and his hand was restored.”

Jesus is the only one to see God and to have made him known (John 1.18). Jesus is “the image of the invisible God” (Colossians 1.15). Jesus is “the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature” (Hebrews 1.3).

In the only recorded instance of Jesus being angry, he was angry because of the hardness of heart of those in the synagogue. Jesus was angry because when he asked if it is lawful to do good or harm, to save life or kill on the Sabbath no one answered him. So, Jesus showed them the answer by restoring a man’s withered hand.

The anger of Jesus is aroused by the hardness of heart of religious people who put religious practice above good and life itself. And, Jesus’ anger drives him to restore a man’s withered hand, to do good, to give life.

How amazing that the one time Jesus, as the perfect representative of God, is angry that his anger results in restored life.

While Jesus was recorded as being angry just this one time, we are told that anger and wrath are of the old men and we should therefore be done with them.

“Let all bitterness and wrath [thymos] and anger [orge] and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” (Ephesians 4.31)

“But now you must put them all away: anger [orge], wrath [thymos], malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” (Colossians 3.8)

“For the anger [orge] of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1.20)

This clearly shows that our anger is not all like God’s anger. We cannot equate the two of even think of them in the same way.

The only time thymos is used in the gospels is in Luke 4. Jesus is speaking for the first time in the synagogue. He opens the scroll of Isaiah, reads about the good news to the poor and liberty to the captives being proclaimed, but skips over the vengeance of God being poured out on his enemies. Jesus then gives two examples of Elijah being sent to Gentiles to further verify his thought that God is not going to pour out vengeance on the Gentiles as the Jews in Galilee wanted. “When they heard these things, all in the synagogue were filled with wrath [thymos].” Those disappointed that God would not take violent vengeance on their enemies are the one’s filled with wrath. Not Jesus. And, not God.

Like orge, thymos is used in the sense of God’s people putting it away. We already saw that a few times above.

“But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident; sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, fits of anger [thymos], rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these.” (Galatians 5.18-21)

Clearly, orge and thymos are something we are no longer to do because orge and thymos do not align with our new nature in God. They have to do with out old nature.

“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience – among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath [orge], like the rest of mankind.” (Ephesians 2.1-3)

Wrath is something is in the sons of disobedience because they are walking according to the ways of this world, which is ruled by Satan, the prince of the power of the air. Revelation 12.12 says, “But woe to you, O earth and sea, for the devil has come down to you in great wrath, because he knows that his time is short!”

But, we are no longer children of wrath because “God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ.” (Ephesians 2.4-5)

So, God’s wrath is nothing like our wrath and anger. It is something entirely different. Further, Satan is the one that came down to earth in the kind of wrath that steals, kills, and destroys. Jesus comes in the kind of “wrath” that gives life and that life abundantly.

So, knowing that God’s wrath is nothing like our wrath, what is the wrath of God?

“For the wrath [orge] of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth.” (Romans 1.18) Paul goes on to say “God gave them up” three times in regards to those who suppress the truth and do not acknowledge God. He then gives a long list of things they were given over to.

Many think that God’s wrath comes because of these things that ungodly and unrighteous men and women have been given over to. In other words, do bad things and God’s wrath is going to be rained down upon you.

But, Paul is saying exactly the opposite. God’s wrath is revealed when he allows you to follow your own desires and you do the long list of things Paul says ungodly and unrighteous men and women do. God’s wrath is simply letting you follow your choices and receiving the consequences of your own choices. Sin has within itself its own punishment. This is why the Old Testament stresses that our own evil comes back on our own head. This is why the wages of sin is death. Death is the natural outcome of sin. God’s wrath does not cause death to be brought out of sin. As we saw from Jesus above, God’s anger leads him to restore, to do good, to give life.

When we turn to Revelation, we see that the fury and wrath of God is almost always connected with a specific event.

What is the event that God’s wrath is connected to?

The treading of the winepress and drinking of the cup of that wine. This is clear throughout Revelation 15-17.

And, who was the one that tread the winepress and drank the cup of wrath?


Who’s wrath crucified Jesus?

Our wrath.

Not God’s.

Jesus prayed about this cup in the garden the night before he was crucified. Therefore, we can see that the winepress is the cross.

Speaking of Jesus, Revelation 19.15 says, “He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty.” It was from his treading the winepress that Jesus “is clothed in a robe dipped in blood.” (Revelation 19.13)

John takes this imagery from Isaiah 63.3, which says, “I have trodden the winepress alone, and from the peoples no one was with me; I trod them in my anger and trampled them in my wrath; their lifeblood spattered on my garments, and stained all my apparel.”

In Isaiah, it appears that it is the blood of the enemies that covers the garment of God’s servant because God’s servant battles against the enemies alone in his anger and wrath. But, John transforms this imagery to show that it was the blood of God’s servant that was shed. It was the blood of Jesus that stained his own garments. He tread the winepress alone in anger and fury.

But, just as we saw in Mark 3, Jesus’ anger and fury was caused by the hard hearts of those around him while he was on the cross. But, that anger, that wrath, that passion as the cross of Christ is known, is what drove Jesus to remain on the cross alone. And, it was from his anger and wrath, his passion, on the cross that Jesus brought about restoration, good, life, and life abundantly.

Man’s wrath, which derives from Satan’s, causes violence, destruction, and death.

But, God’s wrath is not like our wrath.

God’s anger and wrath drives him to restore, to do good, to give life.

Jesus showed that God’s wrath and anger is fully revealed when God chooses to die for you instead of killing you.

Rightly understood, God’s wrath and anger that drives him to die for you to give you life should cause a great deal of torment in your mind. It is like vengeance brought about by coals of fire being heaped upon your thoughts.

That is the wrath of God we see in Revelation.